Some of you might know that this past week I lost a job for not turning up for work. It had been my record of 6.5 days for 2008 - previous jobs were 4 days and 3 days respectively, so not a very good year. In 2006 I managed to work for 3 months and in 2007 I did approximately a month's work.

I have decided to try to apologise to my former employer, because it was a family run firm who were employing me directly and they were actually quite nice people to work with. I had informed them about my condition and given them leaflets from the National Autistic Society, but I could tell that since they didn't want me on a permanent basis (they wanted me to work shifts starting at 6am, which I could not get to without a car), that it would be difficult for them to be any more understanding and lenient towards my condition.

So this is my letter to them, tell me what you think....

Dear Mrs Shannon,

I would like to start by apologising for not turning up for work this last week and also for not calling in to tell you why I was not at work. I will try to explain my actions and hope that you can understand why. As you know I have Asperger Syndrome, when I was at work I know that I came across as a very confident person, however this exterior masks a person who wants to try, but is mostly lonely and misunderstood.

Working at Deltor was an enjoyable experience but very much a tiring one. Most nights when I got home from work I would take a nap for a few hours even before I had dinner, then sleep for 6-7 hours at night. Putting on such a confident facade is very tiring, but I knew that you did not want someone who kept taking time off. When I woke up on Wednesday morning I really wanted to go into work, but I felt so tired it was difficult to get out of bed. I realise I should have called in when I could, or answered your calls to tell you where I was. However, confrontation is a big issue for me and delaying things just made it worse. I was racked with guilt those days for what I had done, but my fear of confrontation made it very difficult for me to do anything about it. I was even scared to listen to the voice messages left for me.

I appreciate that by now you must be understandably very angry with me and I am not looking for any second chances, clearly the position at Deltor was not for me. I hope that I have not burned any bridges for anyone else with Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism who might seek to apply for employment with you in the future. Most of us are actually very reliable people, who just aren’t very adept at communicating.

I would be very grateful if you could acknowledge this letter either by post or email so that I have something to show to the JobCentre as proof that I am no-longer working.

I would like to thank you for your time and understanding. Please pass on my apologies to my co-workers, especially Carole.

Yours Sincerely,

Seth

Tags: apologies, jobs, letters
Current Mood: complacent

Today was my 6th day at work - a whole week I have done now! This breaks my record for 2008 given that my last 2 jobs lasted 4 days and 3 days respectively, the rest of the time I have spent on disability benefits - which is quite a bit of money, but doesn't have the same sense of actually doing something. Without something regular to do each day I sink into depression and become nocturnal, during which time I can barely motivate myself to have a shower or do laundry or eat food that isn't junk. I actually spent more in these times because I end up going to Subway or McD's every day!

I worked a half day today, I started at 8 and worked till 12. Then I went to see my GP who continues to wean me off of Cipralex (Lexapro), I am now down to 5mg every other day for 7 days then no more SSRI's, YAY! So I filled that perscription and then went back home because my social worker was coming to see me, I saw her for like 10 mins then I went to bed. That was like 5pm, I woke up at 8pm having slept the whole time! If someone hadn't have called me I wouldn't have gotten up! That is how tired working seems to make me, I'm sure I'll sleep again tonight from like midnight until 6am.

Autistic people often have sleep issues, sometimes I can be really tired but not fall asleep for hours; other times I can sleep for like 12-15hrs without a break. The phases of the moon seem to make a difference, the full moon doesn't make me into a warewolf, but it does cause me issues sleeping! I take melatonin every night, which occasionally does give me freaky dreams, but at least  I actually get to sleep easily when I take it. Without it I am laying there tossing and turning, I know Autistic kids/teens who will stay up all night for a couple nights and then sleep for most of the next few days. Its all very strange!

Tags: autism, cipralex, jobs, lexapro, sleep
Current Mood: tired